Revival: Blessing on Our Terms

On Wednesday night, our pastor challenged us to run -- run as God ran to the prodigal son, run as Jesus runs to embrace and love those who are lost, run to share Jesus with those we know who don't know Him. There was a huge burst of applause and cheering as everyone promised to take up the challenge.

And then service was over.

This morning, I woke up and opened my devotion from A.W. Tozer. Once again, Tozer stopped me in my tracks and sent me to my knees. Here it is:

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."
-Matthew 16:24

Here is what grieves me, and I believe this also grieves the Holy Spirit: My hearers rise to this call emotionally, but they will not confirm it by a corresponding change in their way of life. Their goodness is like the morning clouds-by 9:00 o'clock the sun has burnt off the fog. This is what happens to many people's good intentions. They rise emotionally to an urgent message that we become a New Testament church, that we become a model church, that we have the order of the New Testament and the power of the Holy Spirit in order that we might worship, work and witness. Emotionally they rise to it, but they will not confirm their emotions by corresponding changes in their way of life.

They want to be blessed by God, but they want God to bless them on their terms. They look pensively to God for victory, but they will not bring their giving into line. They will not practice family prayer, rushing off without it. They will not take time for secret prayer and will not forgive those who have wronged them. They will not seek to be reconciled to those with whom they have quarreled. They will not pick up their crosses and say, "Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee." Rut, Rot or Revival: The Condition of the Church, 146-147.

"Lord, may my desire for You rise above emotions. I do want to be blessed of You, both personally and in my ministry. I commit myself this morning to a willingness to take my cross and follow You-and to take the necessary action to come on Your terms. Amen."

Leadership: Obedience, Servanthood & Maturity

Ahh, how I love Jean Vanier. His book, Community and Growth (Paulist Press, 1989) was one of the key books I treasured when I lived in community at Jesus People USA. There is so much amazing stuff in this book. I encourage you to read about him and his life in communtiy with God and others. Really, really good stuff.


“In order to be able to assume the responsibility for other people’s growth, leaders must themselves have grown to true maturity and inner freedom. They must not be locked up in a prison of illusion or selfishness, and they must have allowed others to guide them.

“We can only command if we know how to obey. We can only be a leader if we know how to be a servant. We can only be a mother—or a father—figure if we are conscious of ourselves as a daughter or a son. Jesus is the Lamb before the He is the Shepherd. His authority comes from the Father; He is the beloved Son of the Father” (p. 225).

Healing marriage

I usually don't post testimonies but I should more often. There is something powerful and beautiful in a person's personal testimony of what God has done in their life. Denise Jackson has one of these testimonies that I found, of all places, on CNN.com.

Jeff and I are on a marriage ministry in our church. Jeff had one previous marriage, I had two. We continue to be amazed that even our marriage, which began on pretty rocky ground, has been transformed into something beautiful and sacred. We attribute it to God and God alone. We've seen amazing restoration and healing in other people's marriages as well, with God at the helm doing what He does best.

This testimony of Denise Jackson blessed and encouraged me. I hope it does you, too.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Denise Jackson knew that her marriage to Alan Jackson wasn't perfect. She was too needy and insecure in the relationship, and he was on the road a lot, becoming one of country's biggest superstars.

Denise Jackson's marriage to Alan Jackson was crumbling until she turned to God.

Still, she wasn't prepared for the shock she got in 1998, shortly after the birth of their third child, when Jackson -- her sweetheart since their teen years -- told her that he didn't want to be in the marriage anymore. Hurt and disillusioned, she tried everything to get him back, and turned to prayer.

A revelation came one day when a friend told her she wouldn't pray for Alan Jackson to come back, but instead, would pray for Denise Jackson to become the woman that God intended her to be. From that day on, Denise Jackson began to reassess the role God played in her life -- and, instead of focusing on how to repair her relationship with her husband, put her efforts into rebuilding her relationship with God. In the end, she says, becoming closer to God helped her become closer to her husband -- and save her marriage.

Jackson writes about her journey in the new book "It's All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life." And while her husband is on the cover of the book and included a CD of two songs, after the first few chapters, it becomes clear that the country singer is not the ultimate focus of her book.

Q: What made you want to write this book?

DENISE JACKSON: Honestly, I've had this desire in my heart for nine years, soon after we separated. I really started thinking about how my story is a story of hope, and I really wanted to share with people how nothing is impossible with Him and how He can tackle relationships and restore them, and really just so people can be drawn to Him.
One of the points I make in the book is that I have everything in the world ... and yet at one point, I was insecure and my marriage was not right, and how none of that stuff really brings lasting joy and contentment, but the thing that does is available to everybody, and that's a relationship with God.

Q: What kind of pressure did you feel to have this perfect relationship with your husband?

JACKSON: I put so much pressure on myself. Everyone, I felt, was looking at us under a magnifying glass and I had to be the perfect wife, who was the perfect size, who wore the perfect gown, who had the perfect jewels, and it was so stressful to live like that and to base your self worth on what you thought other people felt about you. So that's why it was so freeing to really come to the place in my life where I realized that I shouldn't base my self worth on any of that, that my self-worth really comes from being a child of God.

Q: When your marriage broke up, you describe it as a total shock.

JACKSON: All along in our marriage we'd have these discussions about something just doesn't feel right, and it really boiled down to a codependency. Alan was the stronger one, I was the weaker, needier partner, and it just didn't feel balanced. And he kept wanting a partner who would be equal and who he could respect, but we really just didn't know how to get there. So that was really the issue that played out over the years. But it really wasn't until '98 that he said, "You know what, I can't live like this anymore, and I don't know if we know how to fix it," and that's when he left.

Q: He revealed that he was unfaithful at one point. How did you regain the trust?

JACKSON: First of all, I had to be able to forgive him, and that's a free gift that you offer someone. So I was willing to do that but in return he had to show me in tangible ways that he was trustworthy. And over an extended period of time he showed me in numerous ways.

Q: Do you always have that doubt though?

JACKSON: It's been almost 10 years, and initially when we got back together I did worry and wonder -- was he really and truly committed to our marriage? But now I have such a peace and contentment about it, because he has shown me over and over and over that he does want to be in the marriage, and it's evident; it's evident every day.

Q: After he left, did you ever feel like, "OK then, I'm just gonna take everything you have" and get revenge?

JACKSON: I have to admit that I did have those feelings, especially when we had been separated for several months and he really wasn't acting as if he was interested at all in reconciling. But then again, as I just stayed in my Bible study and really developed this relationship, I think God just softened my heart and made me want to have him back.

Q: Was Alan worried about you writing this book?

JACKSON: I think he was a little nervous at first. None of us want to tell people about our mistakes. But I also feel like he knew how passionate I was about this message and he knew that in order to really tell it fully that I was going to have to reveal some details about our marriage and our relationship, and he really consented for me to do that and graciously wrote the forward for the book and included the two wonderful songs that you can get with the book. He's been wonderfully supportive of the whole thing.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/08/31/celeb.qa.denisejackson.ap/index.html