Thursday, February 21, 2008

Get it while it's hot!!!

Ok, so it's not hot. It's hard. And crunchy. And salty. But this is a real item up for bid on eBay. I just had to share!

***Warning: Crude language in some of the questions. Don't say I didn't warn ya***

CNN even has a video on the story here: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/21/harrington.virgin.mary.pretzel.kval

Check eBay if you think I'm kidding about this. *****UPDATE: ebay has removed this item. This Listing Is Unavailable


This listing (180217528954) has been removed or is no longer available. Please make sure you entered the right item number.
If the listing was removed by eBay, consider it canceled. Note: Listings that have ended more than 90 days ago will no longer appear on eBay.


Too bad. It was a lot of fun. But here's the listing in full, just for your viewing pleasure!!*****


(BTW, Jeff thinks it looks more like the Easter Bunny than the Madonna & Child. What do you think?)

The Virgin Mary Pretzel
Item number: 180217528954


Current bid:
US $99,000,100.00
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End time:
Mar-01-08 14:00:00 PST (8 days 21 hours)
Shipping costs:
Check item description and payment instructions or contact seller for details
Ships to: United States
Item location: Eugene, OR, United States
History: 94 bids
High bidder: a***r(

Starting time:
Feb-20-08 14:00:00 PST
Starting bid:
US $10.00
Duration:
10-day listing
Payment methods:
PayPal
See details

Meet the seller
Seller: insanitydrummer( 2 )
Feedback: 100% Positive
Member: since Jan-04-05 in United States

Description

You are bidding on the coveted Virgin Mary Pretzel. A member of the staff at The Donkey Show (101.5 KFLY and 106.3 KZZE) stumbled across this religious icon a little over two years ago in a Rold Gold pretzel snack bag. Of course we saw the financial implications of this relic, and decided to sell it to the highest bidder. This is a once in a lifetime auction, this pretzel is in mint condition, and could be yours if the price is right. If it was not for the Lord Jesus Christ smiling upon the pretzel factory on the day of this little pretzel's conception, you would never have the opportunity to have it for your very own. Think of the magic that would enlighten your soul every time you looked at The Virgin Mary Pretzel sitting on your mantle or nightstand, right next to your rosary and bible. Jesus decided to commemorate his virgin mother in a salted treat that can be yours with the highest bid. Bid with confidence, as this item is being posted by a radio show, and we can't legally lie about something of this magnitude! This little morsel is 100% legit, in the most Holy of ways. This item comes with the original packaging, with "sell by" date included!
Questions from other members
Question & Answer

Q: How would you rate the pretzels freshness? Do you think it is still edible?
A: It is just as crisp golden and delicious as the day it blessed us by coming into our world through a holy deliver. (out of a oven)

Q: Have you seen the replica for sale for $5000????
A: It is just the image of ours reversed. Don't be fooled by the fool!

Q: Would you be willing to throw in honey mustard dip?
A: In no way would we ever add anything that would lead to the eating of this pretzel, for it is a gift from the heavens!

Q: Would you consider this item a Holy Relic?
A: I consider it a pretzel that looks like the picture it sits next to. Don't read into it.

Q: This is the work of the devil!!! Repent all you sinners!!!
A: Halleleuja!!!

Q: This is so fucking stupid...
A: A COLLECTIVE RESPONSE TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS THIS IS "SO FUCKING STUPID," Welcome to the stupid auction, thank you for stopping by the stupid auction, you must enjoy spending your time on stupid things. We appreciate you stupid hit and your stupid bid, so send us your stupid money and we will send you the stupid pretzel.

Q: CON ARTIST
A: Jerk

Q: Did you eat paint chips when you were a child?
A: Good one David Spade

Q: PRAISE THE LORD! It is miraculous! Are you sure this salty delicacy of a divine nature is mint? No chips, cracks, repairs, loss of salt? What is the expiration date on the bag? Is it still fresh or has it turned soft and rancid? Since it is not stated in the listing, I assume shipping is FREE Priority with insurance. Do you take checks? I don't use PayPal. Most importantly, should this sacred biscuit end up with a non-paying bidder, will it be available after the strike? PRAISE EBAY BOYCOTT!!
A: The pretzel has been locked in a box for almost 3 years since it was found. The original packaging is included, but seeing as this is a collaborative effort, the bag is not on my person as I answer this question. Yes shipping is free priority with insurance, no we will not take a check, PayPal only

Q: Is she salty?
A: Of course she is salty, she's a damn pretzel

Q: Thank you for confirming that eBay attracts the galactically stupid.
A: You betcha

Q: can you get me 10 of this. I am willing to pay $100,000.00 for all 10. Let me know as soon as possible cause I already have a buyer lined up for all of them. Shamcy
A: We didn't make it dude, God did.

Q: How many little nuggets of holy salt are visible on the blessed pretzel? Are you willing to sell the divine salt nuggets individually, or is it strictly a package deal?
A: Sorry this salty treat is far too divine for us to risk her life scraping the salt off...

Q: Does this pretzel come with the original Rold Gold package? What are the dimensions?
A: Yes the packaging comes with the pretzel... and the dimensions are the size of a pretzel... About 1 1/2" tall

Q: Just curious, item is described as "coveted", "a religous icon", and as a "relic". Could you provide any proof to support these claims? (or atleast look them up in the dictionary, so that you can re-think your description?)
A: No

Q: I notice your 'God Given' pretzel also resembles the Hindu symbol for 'Om: Symbol of the Absolute'; would you be willing to rename your offer to 'The Hindu Om Pretzel; previously known as the Virgin Mary Pretzel' in exchange for my bid?
A: Sorry, auction is as is

Q: "Good Morning" or is it "Welcome to Planet Eerf" my question is - if I were to win - and I am in Eugene - would I have to pay shipping costs???
A: No, shipping is free on this item

Shipping and handling
Services available
Check item description and payment instructions or contact seller for details.
Ships to
United States

Return policy
Item must be returned within:
7 Days
Refund will be given as:
Money Back
Return policy details:
The buyer has 7 days to return the item (the buyer pays shipping fees). The item will be refunded.

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Item title: The Virgin Mary Pretzel
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Current bid:
US $99,000,100.00
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1 comment:

Dromedary Hump said...

well..i wouldn't go any higher than $75 million, so i had to drop out :)
that was without a doubt the funniest thing i ever read. I almost passed out from lack of oxygen, then I almost became a believer!!!
Well.. true on the first, I'm lying about the second.
Thanks for the great laugh...priceless stuff.
Hump