My church has a new & awesome website: http://www.crossroads.net/ . One area is called "Forum", where news, questions, and general sharing occurs. Someone posed the question today: "How are you changing and questions you are wrestling with"? Great question! So here was my response. Please tell me (honestly) what you think:
Thanks for this. It's a great topic. It's one of the things that I love so much about Crossroads -- the opportunity to be honest and live our lives transparently and openly.
The Lord is challenging me in a number of areas, one 'biggie' is being able to see Jesus in all people, not just the ones I consider "godly" or "righteous". As a result of this conviction that He's put on my heart, I have had to face some pretty difficult and ugly things about myself. That's a good thing, but painful nonetheless.
True, sincere, and unconditional love of all people is my current "big" area of struggle/growth. I'm not proud of this. On the contrary, I'm really ashamed. It's easy for me to love those that are approachable, approving, law-abiding, encouraging, funny, and somewhat mature in their faith and Bible knowledge. Oh. And it helps if they interpret the Scripture in a similar manner as I do and like/dislike the same authors, music, preachers, and teachers. Pretty selfish, smug, and self-righteous of me, isn't it? Ouch. Talk about growing pains.
What's ironic and conflicting is that there is nothing I love more than seeing people grow and receive healing change by the love and power of God. But that's part of it, I guess. I like to see growth in people and get frustrated when I see their lives and behaviors not changing, just staying in the same place day after day, year after year.
As I've been searching the Scriptures and praying about this (and more importantly, listening), I've found out so much about my own attitudes regarding this part of me and even more about the Person of Jesus. I've been taking a close look at His friends, those He deeply loved and embraced. They weren't the "beautiful people". In fact, they were the opposite. They were those that society mocked, scorned, and avoided. Thieves, prostitutes, drug addicts, murderers -- people that I make every effort to avoid in my "precious Christian bubble". Sure, I am kind to these folks that I consider "different" from myself, I pray for them, and am tolerant of them. But do I love them? Do I love them the way that I love others more like myself? Most importantly, do I love them the way that Jesus does?
So I am on a personal journey to love people, really love them. Just as they are, just where they are. In this process, I am learning to repent of my attitudes, my indifferent heart, and receive the forgiveness offered to me for these ugly and shameful traits.
It's a good journey so far. I am beginning to recognize when these attitudes pop up, ask for forgiveness, and be ever-so-grateful for the more tender and sensitive heart God is giving me.
And you know what? In God's eyes, I'm no different than anyone else. When He created us, He did that personally and intimately. And when Jesus died on the Cross, He did that for each and every one of us, just as personally and just as intimately.
Lord, please never let me forget the filth you have rescued me from and the filth that continues to exist in my heart. Thank you for loving me RIGHT WHERE I AM, JUST AS I AM. Help me to give that same love to others.
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forgiveness. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Healing marriage
I usually don't post testimonies but I should more often. There is something powerful and beautiful in a person's personal testimony of what God has done in their life. Denise Jackson has one of these testimonies that I found, of all places, on CNN.com.
Jeff and I are on a marriage ministry in our church. Jeff had one previous marriage, I had two. We continue to be amazed that even our marriage, which began on pretty rocky ground, has been transformed into something beautiful and sacred. We attribute it to God and God alone. We've seen amazing restoration and healing in other people's marriages as well, with God at the helm doing what He does best.
This testimony of Denise Jackson blessed and encouraged me. I hope it does you, too.
A revelation came one day when a friend told her she wouldn't pray for Alan Jackson to come back, but instead, would pray for Denise Jackson to become the woman that God intended her to be. From that day on, Denise Jackson began to reassess the role God played in her life -- and, instead of focusing on how to repair her relationship with her husband, put her efforts into rebuilding her relationship with God. In the end, she says, becoming closer to God helped her become closer to her husband -- and save her marriage.
Jackson writes about her journey in the new book "It's All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life." And while her husband is on the cover of the book and included a CD of two songs, after the first few chapters, it becomes clear that the country singer is not the ultimate focus of her book.
Q: What made you want to write this book?
DENISE JACKSON: Honestly, I've had this desire in my heart for nine years, soon after we separated. I really started thinking about how my story is a story of hope, and I really wanted to share with people how nothing is impossible with Him and how He can tackle relationships and restore them, and really just so people can be drawn to Him.
One of the points I make in the book is that I have everything in the world ... and yet at one point, I was insecure and my marriage was not right, and how none of that stuff really brings lasting joy and contentment, but the thing that does is available to everybody, and that's a relationship with God.
Q: What kind of pressure did you feel to have this perfect relationship with your husband?
JACKSON: I put so much pressure on myself. Everyone, I felt, was looking at us under a magnifying glass and I had to be the perfect wife, who was the perfect size, who wore the perfect gown, who had the perfect jewels, and it was so stressful to live like that and to base your self worth on what you thought other people felt about you. So that's why it was so freeing to really come to the place in my life where I realized that I shouldn't base my self worth on any of that, that my self-worth really comes from being a child of God.
Q: When your marriage broke up, you describe it as a total shock.
JACKSON: All along in our marriage we'd have these discussions about something just doesn't feel right, and it really boiled down to a codependency. Alan was the stronger one, I was the weaker, needier partner, and it just didn't feel balanced. And he kept wanting a partner who would be equal and who he could respect, but we really just didn't know how to get there. So that was really the issue that played out over the years. But it really wasn't until '98 that he said, "You know what, I can't live like this anymore, and I don't know if we know how to fix it," and that's when he left.
Q: He revealed that he was unfaithful at one point. How did you regain the trust?
JACKSON: First of all, I had to be able to forgive him, and that's a free gift that you offer someone. So I was willing to do that but in return he had to show me in tangible ways that he was trustworthy. And over an extended period of time he showed me in numerous ways.
Q: Do you always have that doubt though?
JACKSON: It's been almost 10 years, and initially when we got back together I did worry and wonder -- was he really and truly committed to our marriage? But now I have such a peace and contentment about it, because he has shown me over and over and over that he does want to be in the marriage, and it's evident; it's evident every day.
Q: After he left, did you ever feel like, "OK then, I'm just gonna take everything you have" and get revenge?
JACKSON: I have to admit that I did have those feelings, especially when we had been separated for several months and he really wasn't acting as if he was interested at all in reconciling. But then again, as I just stayed in my Bible study and really developed this relationship, I think God just softened my heart and made me want to have him back.
Q: Was Alan worried about you writing this book?
JACKSON: I think he was a little nervous at first. None of us want to tell people about our mistakes. But I also feel like he knew how passionate I was about this message and he knew that in order to really tell it fully that I was going to have to reveal some details about our marriage and our relationship, and he really consented for me to do that and graciously wrote the forward for the book and included the two wonderful songs that you can get with the book. He's been wonderfully supportive of the whole thing.
Jeff and I are on a marriage ministry in our church. Jeff had one previous marriage, I had two. We continue to be amazed that even our marriage, which began on pretty rocky ground, has been transformed into something beautiful and sacred. We attribute it to God and God alone. We've seen amazing restoration and healing in other people's marriages as well, with God at the helm doing what He does best.
This testimony of Denise Jackson blessed and encouraged me. I hope it does you, too.
NEW YORK (AP) -- Denise Jackson knew that her marriage to Alan Jackson wasn't perfect. She was too needy and insecure in the relationship, and he was on the road a lot, becoming one of country's biggest superstars.
Denise Jackson's marriage to Alan Jackson was crumbling until she turned to God.
Still, she wasn't prepared for the shock she got in 1998, shortly after the birth of their third child, when Jackson -- her sweetheart since their teen years -- told her that he didn't want to be in the marriage anymore. Hurt and disillusioned, she tried everything to get him back, and turned to prayer.
Denise Jackson's marriage to Alan Jackson was crumbling until she turned to God.
Still, she wasn't prepared for the shock she got in 1998, shortly after the birth of their third child, when Jackson -- her sweetheart since their teen years -- told her that he didn't want to be in the marriage anymore. Hurt and disillusioned, she tried everything to get him back, and turned to prayer.
A revelation came one day when a friend told her she wouldn't pray for Alan Jackson to come back, but instead, would pray for Denise Jackson to become the woman that God intended her to be. From that day on, Denise Jackson began to reassess the role God played in her life -- and, instead of focusing on how to repair her relationship with her husband, put her efforts into rebuilding her relationship with God. In the end, she says, becoming closer to God helped her become closer to her husband -- and save her marriage.
Jackson writes about her journey in the new book "It's All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life." And while her husband is on the cover of the book and included a CD of two songs, after the first few chapters, it becomes clear that the country singer is not the ultimate focus of her book.
Q: What made you want to write this book?
DENISE JACKSON: Honestly, I've had this desire in my heart for nine years, soon after we separated. I really started thinking about how my story is a story of hope, and I really wanted to share with people how nothing is impossible with Him and how He can tackle relationships and restore them, and really just so people can be drawn to Him.
One of the points I make in the book is that I have everything in the world ... and yet at one point, I was insecure and my marriage was not right, and how none of that stuff really brings lasting joy and contentment, but the thing that does is available to everybody, and that's a relationship with God.
Q: What kind of pressure did you feel to have this perfect relationship with your husband?
JACKSON: I put so much pressure on myself. Everyone, I felt, was looking at us under a magnifying glass and I had to be the perfect wife, who was the perfect size, who wore the perfect gown, who had the perfect jewels, and it was so stressful to live like that and to base your self worth on what you thought other people felt about you. So that's why it was so freeing to really come to the place in my life where I realized that I shouldn't base my self worth on any of that, that my self-worth really comes from being a child of God.
Q: When your marriage broke up, you describe it as a total shock.
JACKSON: All along in our marriage we'd have these discussions about something just doesn't feel right, and it really boiled down to a codependency. Alan was the stronger one, I was the weaker, needier partner, and it just didn't feel balanced. And he kept wanting a partner who would be equal and who he could respect, but we really just didn't know how to get there. So that was really the issue that played out over the years. But it really wasn't until '98 that he said, "You know what, I can't live like this anymore, and I don't know if we know how to fix it," and that's when he left.
Q: He revealed that he was unfaithful at one point. How did you regain the trust?
JACKSON: First of all, I had to be able to forgive him, and that's a free gift that you offer someone. So I was willing to do that but in return he had to show me in tangible ways that he was trustworthy. And over an extended period of time he showed me in numerous ways.
Q: Do you always have that doubt though?
JACKSON: It's been almost 10 years, and initially when we got back together I did worry and wonder -- was he really and truly committed to our marriage? But now I have such a peace and contentment about it, because he has shown me over and over and over that he does want to be in the marriage, and it's evident; it's evident every day.
Q: After he left, did you ever feel like, "OK then, I'm just gonna take everything you have" and get revenge?
JACKSON: I have to admit that I did have those feelings, especially when we had been separated for several months and he really wasn't acting as if he was interested at all in reconciling. But then again, as I just stayed in my Bible study and really developed this relationship, I think God just softened my heart and made me want to have him back.
Q: Was Alan worried about you writing this book?
JACKSON: I think he was a little nervous at first. None of us want to tell people about our mistakes. But I also feel like he knew how passionate I was about this message and he knew that in order to really tell it fully that I was going to have to reveal some details about our marriage and our relationship, and he really consented for me to do that and graciously wrote the forward for the book and included the two wonderful songs that you can get with the book. He's been wonderfully supportive of the whole thing.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Love your Enemies
Jesus said, "Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account." Matthew 5.11
Jesus said, "You have learnt how it was said to our ancestors: 'You must not kill; and anyone does kill he must answer for it before the court.' But I say this to you: anyone who is angry with his brother will answer for it before the court." Mt. 5.21-22
Jesus said, "You have learnt how it was said: 'Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.' But I say to you, Offer the wicked man no resistance. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; if a man takes you to law and would have your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone orders you to go one mile, go two miles with him." Mt. 5.38-41
Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy; But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those whose persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Mt. 5.43-46
Jesus said, "You will be hated by all men on account of my name; but the man who stands firm to the end will be saved. If they persecute you in one town, take refuge in the next; and if they persecute you in that, take refuge in another." Mt. 10.22-23
Jesus said, "No intimidation! No extortion! Be content with your pay." Lk 3.14
Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly." Lk. 6.27-28
Jesus said, "Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judge yourselves; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned yourselves; grant pardon, and you will be pardoned." Lk 6.27
Jesus said, "What is written in the law? What do you read there? He replied, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." "You have answered right," said Jesus "do this and life is yours." Lk 10.26-28
Jesus said, "This is my commandment: love one another, as I have loved you." Jn. 14.22
Jesus said, "What I command you is to love one another." Jn. 14.27
Jesus said, "If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they kept my word, they will keep yours as well. But it will be on my account that they will do all this, because they do not know the one who sent me." Jn. 15.20-21
Jesus said, "I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but be brave: I have conquered the world." Jn. 16.33
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us
Lord, You know how often we fail to love one another. Forgive
us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord, You know how easy it is
bail out of marriage mentally and spiritually, how fickle our hearts are when it
comes to human relationships. Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins
against us. Lord, You see how easily offended we are, how tenderly we treat our
own feelings yet how cutting and cruel we can be with our tongues to this other
we say we love. Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord,
You know how easily the heart is drawn away from one's spouse toward another
person, another task, another achievement. Forgive such hearts of adultery,
Lord, as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord, You see how our lips
pay service to the idea that we submit one to another, yet our actions betray
us. We say one thing, yet try to control our mate by manipulating, brow-beating,
demeaning, ignoring, denying affection. Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive our
spouse who sins against us. Thank You, Lord, for Your forgiveness. Thank you for
the transforming power of the Gospel that makes all things -- including marriage
itself -- brand new. You are the Lord of love. Thank You, thank You, thank You
for this other you have given us. Fill our hearts with love and with a zeal to
love in action as well as emotion and word. And fill us with Your Holy Spirit so
that we never turn our backs on You, on Your love, or on the love our mate
brings to us. That love, we know, is of You and from You. We receive it with
humility, gratitude, and glad tears. AMEN.
My friends Jon and Carol Trott wrote this prayer a few years back when they were speaking (well, Jon was speaking, Carol was sharing!) at a conference. It's blessed me in so many ways and I wanted to make it easily accessible, so I'm posting it here. You can read their entire seminar here: http://www.highromance.com/articles/jtarticles/cbe2002.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
