No More Shame: A Story of Healed Wounds

I was a heroin addict in my 20s. I shot up as many times as I could a day. They left terrible track marks up and down my arms and hands. When I finally got clean, I was left with a lot of scars.

These scars all but faded over the years. But I have one very ugly, very obvious scar that remains on my right wrist. One day I was talking to God about it. I asked Him, "Lord, you have removed all of the other scars from me. This one stares me in the face every day. Others can see it clearly. I know you can remove it. Would you please remove it for me? I'm ashamed of it."

Very clearly and very gently, I heard God say to me, "Look at that scar. Do you remember the conditions that caused it? Do you remember the pain?"

"Yes,I do", I replied.

Then He said to me, "Touch it. Does it hurt? Do you feel pain now?"

"No", I said.

"That scar is there to remind you of how I healed you. Scars are a sign of healing, evidence of where I took your wounds and stitched them up. Everyone that you encounter has scars, Joyce. Many of those scars are on the inside but everyone has them. But scars don't hurt. Open wounds do. I stitched your open wounds up, inside and out."

As I continued to look at it and receive that as truth from God, He spoke again. "Don't you ever be ashamed to show and tell people of how I healed you. That scar isn't about you. It is about what I did for you and is to be used to share my hope and glory".

I've never been ashamed of that scar again.

Thank you

I had a crazy, beautiful and baffling thing happen to me this week. I was at church for my Bible study. There were hundreds of people roaming around, meeting in their groups and just hanging out.

Out of nowhere, a beautiful woman who I didn't know came up behind me at my table and asked if I was Joyce. I said yes and she gave me a pink giftbag with my name on it. I looked at her quizzically and she told me that she was asked to give this to me anonymously, smiled at me and walked away.

I was a bit overwhelmed and didn't want to open the bag in front of the rest of my group so I placed it beside me and we continued with our Bible study (which was fantastic, by the way. Jeff and I have been doing this study with such a wonderful and diverse group of couples ... we love them so much and have made some really great new friends in the process).

When our group ended, I picked up the bag and opened it. Inside was a beautiful little box. I opened the box to find a note:

"Joyce, Bless you & buy yourself a nice new outfit! Enjoy!"

No signature. And $75 worth of gift cards to Macy's!!!! I am never able to go to Macy's! Especially not to buy myself an outfit! (I buy 95% of my clothing at Goodwill.)

Wow.

I don't know who. I certainly don't know why. But I do know that I am overwhelmed. I do know that I feel incredibly humbled (why me?!), grateful, excited, loved, and completely amazed that I was on someone's mind and that, for whatever reason, they wanted to bless me.

Wow again.

So whoever you are ... thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so very, very much. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your generous heart. Thank you for making my heart swell with joy. Thank you for bringing tears of wonder and amazement to my eyes.

And thank you for the new dress I will be buying!

Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. (Philippians 1:3,4 The Message)

Light of the World

Once in a while, I have what I call "God Moments". These seem to happen during particularly reflective times when, for whatever reason, God chooses to speak about something pretty significant to me at the moment. It's probably more accurate to say that it's the times when my heart is in a place where I can actually hear Him, because I truly believes He speaks far more than I listen. They may not appear to be groundshaking revelations and I guess they really aren't. They are usually just simple truths that He reminds me of in the midst of my circumstances, but in such a personal way that I can only shake my head in awe and wonder.

A couple of weeks ago, I was standing out on my porch looking at the sky. It was the middle of the day, but the sky was incredibly dark and it was apparent that a big storm was brewing.

"Wow, it's so dark out here", I thought. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" said the Lord. I looked at the sky some more. The clouds were moving in more thickly and it looked like it was late evening instead of late morning.

"Yeah, it's pretty dark", He continued. "And stormy. But there's still enough light to see, isn't there?"

I looked around. Sure, even though it was dark, I could still see quite clearly. I could see everything around me in perfect clarity. There were no obstacles to my vision.

"Yeah", I replied. "I can see just fine."

"Joyce", He said, "even though it's so dark, so cloudy, so stormy, there is always enough Light to see. I am always enough Light."

That was pretty much it, but I pondered for hours about that. I was going through my own personal storm at the time, and He knew it. He cared enough about my storms to remind me ...

He is the Light. And He is always enough.

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12