Love needs no words

She never said a word. Not to me. Not to anyone else. She didn't sing or respond to sound or music. I don't know her name. I don't know where she came from or who she belongs to.

And I fell in love with her.

Touch ... she responded to touch. She'd smile a shy little smile into my face when I took her on my lap and clapped her hands together. She'd just as shyly reach out to touch me when my attention waned and was focused on another beautiful child who wanted and needed it.

I met her on Wednesday. On Thursday, they bussed in all of the children that we had gone out into the township to spend time with and shower our love on during the week.

As the hundreds of children piled into the auditorium, there she was. She didn't run. She didn't skip. But she had a purpose in mind, and her little legs moved steadily and confidently. She didn't stop to get in line for a gift or craft or to play with a friend. She determinedly strutted all the way across the huge auditorium ...

... and stopped in front of me. Her little arms reached up to me and I eagerly scooped her up. I hated to let her go.

Love needs no words.

No More Shame: A Story of Healed Wounds

I was a heroin addict in my 20s. I shot up as many times as I could a day. They left terrible track marks up and down my arms and hands. When I finally got clean, I was left with a lot of scars.

These scars all but faded over the years. But I have one very ugly, very obvious scar that remains on my right wrist. One day I was talking to God about it. I asked Him, "Lord, you have removed all of the other scars from me. This one stares me in the face every day. Others can see it clearly. I know you can remove it. Would you please remove it for me? I'm ashamed of it."

Very clearly and very gently, I heard God say to me, "Look at that scar. Do you remember the conditions that caused it? Do you remember the pain?"

"Yes,I do", I replied.

Then He said to me, "Touch it. Does it hurt? Do you feel pain now?"

"No", I said.

"That scar is there to remind you of how I healed you. Scars are a sign of healing, evidence of where I took your wounds and stitched them up. Everyone that you encounter has scars, Joyce. Many of those scars are on the inside but everyone has them. But scars don't hurt. Open wounds do. I stitched your open wounds up, inside and out."

As I continued to look at it and receive that as truth from God, He spoke again. "Don't you ever be ashamed to show and tell people of how I healed you. That scar isn't about you. It is about what I did for you and is to be used to share my hope and glory".

I've never been ashamed of that scar again.

The Cry of a Soul on its way Up

While I'm still processing so much from our latest church journey called "Consumed", God brought the thought back to me of a prayer I publically displayed, boldly and brightly:

Less of me, more of YOU.

These are the words that I painted on the wall in the Prayer Experience. It's not only a reminder of when I scrawled out that prayer on the wall with bold, colorful sharpies, words lost in a landscape of thousands of other prayers of gratitude and love and healing and surrender - but a personal reminder that He is delighting in me that I am longing for more of Him. Perhaps this shall be my personal mantra, my personal prayer for this very season that I am in right now. Less of me, more of YOU.

So ... my daily Tozer devotion is emailed to me at 1:30 a.m. every day. I had a bad night of insomnia so I decided it would probably be a good thing to spend some time reading him and spend some quiet time in prayer and contemplation. Tozer has a way of cutting straight to the core and it's one of the things that I love so much about his way of teaching: 'Here it is', he seems to be saying, 'plain as day, now what are you going to do about it?'

It really hit home and spoke volumes to me this morning. I figured I'd go ahead and share it with the rest of you.

March 28
Pastoral Ministry: Just a Huckster

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. --Philippians 3:13-14

Some young preacher will study until he has to get thick glasses to take care of his failing eyesight because he has an idea he wants to become a famous preacher. He wants to use Jesus Christ to make him a famous preacher. He's just a huckster buying and selling and getting gain. They will ordain him and he will be known as Reverend and if he writes a book, they will make him a doctor. And he will be known as Doctor; but he's still a huckster buying and selling and getting gain. And when the Lord comes back, He will drive him out of the temple along with the other cattle.

We can use the Lord for anything--or try to use Him. But what I'm preaching and what Paul taught and what was brought down through the years and what gave breath to the modern missionary movement that you and I know about and belong to was just the opposite: "O, God, we don't want anything You have, we want You." That's the cry of a soul on its way up. ~A. W. Tozer Success and the Christian, 29.

"Lord, give us that hunger to know You; deliver us from the pride that makes us want to use You. Let me pray today with John, 'He must increase, but I must decrease.' Amen."

Grateful list part one

I'm grateful for Jesus. You have rescued me. You have rescued my family. You have made us whole. You have transformed our lives. You did this all by Your own sacrifice. You amaze me. I love You.

I'm grateful that I went to Bible College. I learned so much of the Word of God. Thanks, Zion.

I'm grateful for my brother. He introduced me to Jesus. His life of faithfulness and unconditional love is an example to me and an inspiration. I love you, Joe.

I'm grateful for my parents. They taught me about forgiveness, laughter, healing, and love. They taught me about letting go, about rejoicing in each other's victories and successes. No regrets. The best is yet to come. I love you, Mom & Dad.

I'm grateful for my sisters. My oldest sister taught me what love and loyalty and family first means. My middle sister taught me how far being kind and persistant and working hard can get you. I love you, Joan & Lynn.

I'm grateful for being sick. Having a potentially fatal disease makes you prioritize. It makes you rethink what is important and what isn't. It forces you to cherish each moment. It teaches you to revisit and explore wonder. It teaches you to anticipate Eternity with expectation and joy.

I'm grateful that I lived in community. I learned so much about grace, living by faith, justice, tolerance, equality amongst the brethen (and sistren?), sharing, selflessness, and dying daily. Thank you, JPUSA. I love you guys.

I am grateful for my husband. Your love of Jesus has shown me God in a way I'd forgotten -- God of miracles, God of answered prayer, God of healing, God of restoration, God of wonders, God of love, God never-failing, God everlasting. You show me a life of unfailing and incredible faith. You crack me up every day. You teach me honesty and integrity. You show me delightful love and laughter. You show me tenderness and humility. I love you so very much, Jeff.

To be continued ...