What goals do you have as a leader?

"Stay faithful every day and make
aggressive mistakes. Goals are too limiting. I have none."

Brian Tome, Pastor, Crossroads Community Church

http://leadershipblog.blogspot.com/2005/08/leadership-blog-interview-brian-tome.html

12 Steps for a Recovering Pharisee (like me)

I have always like John Fischer. He has been a key speaker at Cornerstone Festival many times over the years (the Jesus Rock festival that Jesus People USA, the community I used to live and serve with for in Chicago for several years, puts on) and I've always enjoyed his honesty and ability to share sometimes difficult realities in a lighthearted and gracious manner. This is from a book of his by the same title that he wrote several years back.

The 12 Steps of a Recovering Pharisee (like
me)

by John Fischer

1. We admit that our single most
unmitigated pleasure is to judge other people.

2. Have come to believe that our means of obtaining
greatness is to make everyone lower than ourselves in our own mind.

3. Realize that we detest mercy being given to those who,
unlike us, haven't worked for it and don't deserve it.

4. Have decided that we don't want to get what we deserve
after all, and we don't want anyone else to either.

5. Will cease all attempts to apply teaching and rebuke to
anyone but ourselves.

6. Are ready to have God remove all these defects of
attitude and character.

7. Embrace the belief that we are, and will always be,
experts at sinning.

8. Are looking closely at the lives of famous men and
women of the Bible who turned out to be ordinary sinners like us.

9. Are seeking through prayer and meditation to make a
conscious effort to consider other better than ourselves.

10. Embrace the state of astonishment as a permanent and
glorious reality.

11. Choose to rid ourselves of any attitude that is not
bathed in gratitude.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of
these steps, we will try to carry this message to others who think that Christians are better than everyone else.

The Real Agenda

Wow, CNN is rocking out with the commentaries this week. I just read this commentary by CNN contributer Roland Martin, author of "Listening to the Spirit Within: 50 Perspectives on Faith". I haven't read the book nor am I familiar with Mr. Martin , but he has some bold truths and challenges to share with the Christian community. I don't agree that Rick Warren should have been included in the list of those who Mr. Martin alleged to have a limited agenda however. Rick Warren is one who has greatly influenced me to step out and see the world as Jesus does and act accordingly. I also don't agree that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are part of the solution as I view them as causing more division than reconciliation regarding some of Martin's key points, but that's my personal opinion and observations. Despite these personal reservations, this article is definitely food for thought and well worth the read!

NEW YORK (CNN) -- When did it come to the point that being a Christian meant only caring about two issues,­ abortion and homosexuality?

Ask the nonreligious what being a Christian today means, and based on what we see and read, it's a good bet they will say that followers of Jesus Christ are preoccupied with those two points.

Poverty? Whatever. Homelessness? An afterthought. A widening gap between the have and have-nots? Immaterial. Divorce? The divorce rate of Christians mirrors the national average, so that's no big deal.

The point is that being a Christian should be about more than abortion and homosexuality, and it's high time that those not considered a part of the religious right expose the hypocrisy of our brothers and sisters in Christianity and take back the faith. And those on the left who believe they have a "get out of sin free" card must not be allowed to justify their actions.

Many people believe we are engaged in a holy war. And we are. But it's not with Muslims. The real war -- ­ the silent war ­-- is being engaged among Christians, and that's what we must set our sights on.

As we celebrate Holy Week, our focus is on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But aren't we also to recommit ourselves to live more like Jesus? Did Jesus spend his time focusing on all that he didn't like, or did Jesus raise the consciousness of the people to understand love, compassion and teach them about following the will of God?

As a layman studying to receive a master's in Christian communications, and the husband of an ordained minister, it's troubling to listen to "Christian radio" and hear the kind of hate spewing out of the mouths of my brothers and sisters in the faith.

In fact, I've grown tired of people who pimp God. That's right; we have a litany of individuals today who are holy, holy, holy, sing hallelujah, talk about how they love the Lord, but when it's time to walk the walk, somehow the spirit evaporates.

A couple of years ago I took exception to an e-mail blast from the Concerned Women for America. The group was angry that Democrats were blocking certain judges put up for the federal bench by President Bush. It called on Americans to fight Democrats who wanted to keep Christians off the bench.
So I called and sent an e-mail asking, "So, where were you when President Clinton appointed Christian judges to the bench? Were they truly behind Christian judges, or Republican Christian judges?

Surprise, surprise. There was never a response.

An African-American pastor I know in the Midwest was asked by a group of mostly white clergy to march in an anti-abortion rally. He was fine with that, but then asked the clergy if they would work with him to fight crack houses in predominantly black neighborhoods.

"That's really your problem," he was told.

They saw abortion as a moral imperative, but not a community ravaged by crack.

If abortion and gay marriage are part of the Christian agenda, I have no issue with that. Those are moral issues that should be of importance to people of the faith, but the agenda should be much, much broader.

I'm looking for the day when Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer, James Dobson, Tony Perkins, James Kennedy, Rod Parsley, " Patriot Pastors" and Rick Warren will sit at the same table as Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cynthia Hale, Eddie L. Long, James Meek, Fred Price, Emmanuel Cleaver and Floyd Flake to establish a call to arms on racism, AIDS, police brutality, a national health care policy, our sorry education system.

If they all say they love and worship one God, one Jesus, let's see them rally their members behind one agenda.

I stand here today not as a Republican or a liberal. And don't bother calling me a Democrat or a conservative. I am a man,­ an African-American man ­who has professed that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that's to whom I bow down.

If you concur, it's time to stop allowing a chosen few to speak for the masses. Quit letting them define the agenda.

So put on the full armor of God because we have work to do.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/04/martin.jesus/index.html

Science as a means of Worship

While I don't necessarily agree with all of Dr. Collins scientific theories, I do agree that God and science are not at odds but in perfect harmony. This is a pretty cool article from CNN.

Francis S. Collins, M.D., Ph.D., is the director of the National Human Genome Research Institute. His most recent book is "The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief."

ROCKVILLE, Maryland (CNN) -- I am a scientist and a believer, and I find no conflict between those world views.

As the director of the Human Genome Project, I have led a consortium of scientists to read out the 3.1 billion letters of the human genome, our own DNA instruction book. As a believer, I see DNA, the information molecule of all living things, as God's language, and the elegance and complexity of our own bodies and the rest of nature as a reflection of God's plan.

I did not always embrace these perspectives. As a graduate student in physical chemistry in the 1970s, I was an atheist, finding no reason to postulate the existence of any truths outside of mathematics, physics and chemistry. But then I went to medical school, and encountered life and death issues at the bedsides of my patients. Challenged by one of those patients, who asked "What do you believe, doctor?", I began searching for answers.

I had to admit that the science I loved so much was powerless to answer questions such as "What is the meaning of life?" "Why am I here?" "Why does mathematics work, anyway?" "If the universe had a beginning, who created it?" "Why are the physical constants in the universe so finely tuned to allow the possibility of complex life forms?" "Why do humans have a moral sense?" "What happens after we die?"

I had always assumed that faith was based on purely emotional and irrational arguments, and was astounded to discover, initially in the writings of the Oxford scholar C.S. Lewis and subsequently from many other sources, that one could build a very strong case for the plausibility of the existence of God on purely rational grounds. My earlier atheist's assertion that "I know there is no God" emerged as the least defensible. As the British writer G.K. Chesterton famously remarked, "Atheism is the most daring of all dogmas, for it is the assertion of a universal negative."

But reason alone cannot prove the existence of God. Faith is reason plus revelation, and the revelation part requires one to think with the spirit as well as with the mind. You have to hear the music, not just read the notes on the page. Ultimately, a leap of faith is required.

For me, that leap came in my 27th year, after a search to learn more about God's character led me to the person of Jesus Christ. Here was a person with remarkably strong historical evidence of his life, who made astounding statements about loving your neighbor, and whose claims about being God's son seemed to demand a decision about whether he was deluded or the real thing. After resisting for nearly two years, I found it impossible to go on living in such a state of uncertainty, and I became a follower of Jesus.

So, some have asked, doesn't your brain explode? Can you both pursue an understanding of how life works using the tools of genetics and molecular biology, and worship a creator God? Aren't evolution and faith in God incompatible? Can a scientist believe in miracles like the resurrection?

Actually, I find no conflict here, and neither apparently do the 40 percent of working scientists who claim to be believers. Yes, evolution by descent from a common ancestor is clearly true. If there was any lingering doubt about the evidence from the fossil record, the study of DNA provides the strongest possible proof of our relatedness to all other living things.

But why couldn't this be God's plan for creation? True, this is incompatible with an ultra-literal interpretation of Genesis, but long before Darwin, there were many thoughtful interpreters like St. Augustine, who found it impossible to be exactly sure what the meaning of that amazing creation story was supposed to be. So attaching oneself to such literal interpretations in the face of compelling scientific evidence pointing to the ancient age of Earth and the relatedness of living things by evolution seems neither wise nor necessary for the believer.

I have found there is a wonderful harmony in the complementary truths of science and faith. The God of the Bible is also the God of the genome. God can be found in the cathedral or in the laboratory. By investigating God's majestic and awesome creation, science can actually be a means of worship.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/03/collins.commentary/index.html

Amazing Grace

"And Grace calls out: you are not just a disillusioned old man who may die soon, a middle aged woman stuck in a job and desperately wanting to get out, a young person feeling the fire in the belly begin to grow cold. You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken, or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted. Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted ... Whatever our failings may be, we need not lower our eyes in the presence of Jesus. Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don't have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazin' grace. As we glance up, we are astonished to find the eyes of Jesus open with wonder, deep with understanding, and gentle with compassion."
The Ragamuffin Gospel
Brennan Manning

Thanks, but I happen to LIKE brunch!

And only $19.95! (plus shipping and handling)

Quote of the Day

"I have three things I'd like to say to you tonight. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night."

-Tony Campolo

Kingdom Reflections Part 1

For the past six weeks, we've been on a churchwide journey called "Kingdom Experiment". I'm sharing some of my reflections here as I continue to journal them out. Thanks for reading.

During our Kingdom group, we talked about the letter writing exercise (and how most of us didn't do it!), an exercise that several of us had done in the past however. While we were discussing all of this, it came to my memory of the time that I wrote one of those letters myself. I was 19 years old and wrote a (never mailed) letter to the neighborhood boys/young men who had terrorized, humiliated and raped me for 12 years, from the time I was just a baby of 4 until I was 16. At 19, I was battling depression and other destructive patterns of behavior and finally sought help. It wasn't a letter of forgiveness, actually, but a letter of unburdening myself with all of the garbage they had laid on me that I had decided wasn't mine to carry around any longer -- the anger, the self-doubt, the low self-esteem, the fear, the self-loathing, the loneliness, the terrible pain so deep and so wounding and yet so close to the surface I could almost hear it screaming -- and the shame. The terrible, terrible shame that followed me for years afterwards, long into my adulthood. I told them none of that belonged to me any longer, it wasn't mine to begin with, and I was giving it back to them to carry around. I was too tired to
do it any longer. It was more of a letter that said "Take this back, you jerks. FEEL the pain! FEEL IT! LIVE IT! SUFFER the same pain you made ME suffer!"

I guess I thought that was "my way" of forgiving
them.

And I thought it worked. Until the subject came up that
night in group a couple of weeks ago. As I was telling others in my group about this letter I wrote 25 years ago, God spoke to my heart. He told me "No, Joyce. You can't give it back to them. You have to forgive them. In other words, you have to give all of that stuff to ME -- I need you to forgive them. I will take all of that stuff, and then I will give it back to them. Vengenance is Mine; not so they will be harmed or await a certain hell, but I will give this load they put on you back to them. But you have to give it to Me first. Then they will have to give it back to Me and to receive the same freedom and forgiveness as you have. Let me take all of that for you. I'll handle it from there." What a revelation. It seems simple, but it was huge and complex and awesome and convicting all at once. Wow.

Fast forward to the Prayer Experiment. Not really thinking about this, but trying to just have an open mind and heart, I walked into the rock room. I picked up a BIG rock ... I couldn't believe how long I had to hold on to it and how very heavy it became so quickly. I couldn't wait to be able to unload it.

And then it clicked. God was waiting to take that very
load away from me. I gave it to Him in the illustration of dropping it in that pond. The water was so murky (or appeared to be) that I couldn't even see it after I dropped it in there. It was gone!

When I walked into the bowl room, I sat and prayed and listened -- and wept. I sat there for a very long time, just sitting in His presence, waiting until I was ready to take the next step. Now that I had agreed to give that burden to Him, it was time to really let Him keep it. Forgiving those guys seemed the logical thing to write down, and I did. But then I continued to write -- about forgiving myself. I forgive you, Joyce, for being afraid. I forgive you, Joyce, for being jealous. I forgive you, Joyce, for being insecure. I forgive you, Joyce, for not trusting God's promises. I forgive you, Joyce, I forgive you, Joyce. The list went on and on. Finally, I finished writing and dropped my paper into the bowl. As I watched and saw my words begin to fade, the paper began to tear, from top to bottom, slowly but completely. It was to me exactly how I envisioned the veil was torn in the Holy of Holies when Jesus offered His forgiveness on the Cross and it was finished -- exactly. It was as though God was showing me just how my unforgiveness separates me from being in the full glory of His presence and He was reminding me by this beautiful vision right in front of my eyes. Jesus' forgiveness tore that veil that sheilded my eyes from focusing completely and fully on Him. He did that for me! Me!

I was so excited that the next room was a place to just
write down my praise and awe and joy and marvel about Who God is and about how much I love Him -- and how much He loves me! I mean, I know all of this and have known Jesus for decades but this was so fresh and so huge and so new to me -- a new freedom and a new place where I've finally allowed His light to shine, into the deepest, darkest places of my shame. There is light there now! I feel so bouyant, as though I had been walking with shoes made of cement for so many years and now I have on ballet slippers that allow me to dance in a way that I wouldn't have dared to have hoped I could have.

And now my prayer is just to have more opportunities to
reflect His beautiful light to others.

Amazing. God is simply ... amazing.

13 Paradigm Shifts

I love Donald Miller. Here's one (or rather, thirteen) reasons why:

Thirteen Paradigm Shifts we encountered doing Christian ministry in a pagan environment
by Donald Miller

1. Other People Exist:

Simply coming to the understanding that the world does not revolve around “me” but that everybody is having an experience, created by God, loved by God, and that we needed to repent of showing partiality.

2. Nobody will listen to you unless they know you like them:

We began to understand that people, subconsciously, merit a
religious or philosophical idea not on logical conclusions, but on whether or not the idea creates a “good person”…the definition of a good person being whether or not a person is kind to them, tolerant and understanding, able to listen without arguing and so on.

3. Nobody will listen to God unless they know God loves them:

We came to believe there was usually a hidden pain behind
hostility, that many people have been hurt by the church, or people or perspectives they believed to represent God. Many times it's as simple as an interview they saw on CNN, but an apology and kindness went a long way in helping people understand God was loving.

4. Other people have morality and values:

We came to understand that Christians do not own morality, that everybody lives by a moral code, not always informed by an ancient text, and yet it is there. Calling people or even thinking of them as immoral was, then, inappropriate. In fact, we often found that people who did not know Christ lived a morality close to his heart in many areas we had ignored, ie; community, tolerance, social justice, fairness and equality, freedom, beauty and so on.

5. Find common ground:

Often the morality of others overlapped Christian morality, and we came to understand that in these cases, we would focus on the overlapping issues. We came to see this as kindness, just as though we were on a date or making friends, we did not focus on what we didn’t have in common, but rather on mutual feelings about life. We would not say or do anything to combat people unless they knew we loved them, and this takes a great deal of time.

6. Define terms in their language:

We were careful about Christian sayings and phrases that might be offensive: Crusade, sin, immorality….we came to understand that concepts were more sacred than terms.

7. Telling somebody about the gospel is about them, not us:

We were careful not to try to “build our organization” and respected peoples freedom and space. Sharing the gospel became an exercise in friendship, rather than an attempt to grow a machine. Often, people feel used if they feel they are being recruited. The gospel, we learned, is really about them, their feelings about God and truth, about sin, about life.

8. Don’t let spreading the gospel feel any different than telling
somebody about a love in your life, about your children or a great
memory:

We realized that in telling somebody about Jesus, we were telling them about somebody we have come to love and need, and about something that had happened to us, an encounter. This keeps us from sounding preachy, and allows us to share part of ourselves in a friendship.

9. Include lost People in Your Community:

Our organization was not exclusive. We invited non-believers into the community if they wanted to be invited. We were careful not to not be ourselves with them, but they were certainly invited and enjoyed being a part of the group. We explained terms that we used, what we believed, but other than that, continued as normal.

10. Apologize for what you represent:

We discovered that many people have been offended or hurt by what they perceive Christianity to be. We allowed ourselves to stand in the place of “Christianity” and apologize whenever necessary.

11. Be authentic:

We discovered the need to be as honest about our lives as possible. We did not feel the need to sell Jesus, as much as share what He has done in our broken lives. We had no problem sharing our doubts and fears about faith, along with our commitment and appreciation for what God had done.

12. Pray for the Salvation of others:

We discovered the need to pray for others. This would insure God was working in peoples lives, as we asked Him to. We discovered the work of evangelism is something God lets us watch, but very little of it is what we manipulate. We repented of not believing evangelism was a spiritual exchange between a lost person and God, rather than believing it was a series of ideas we were supposed to convince others of.

13. Ask people if they would like to know Christ:

We decided to initiate, whenever the relationship called for it. We were not afraid to ask people if they would like to know God.

Come again?

Bloom Where You're Planted

Ah but the stability that comes from staying in place, being truly
grounded, settled, unwilling to jump when the next parade comes to town beating
whatever "drum of the month" it brings... that only comes from trusting, seeking
and recognizing the presence of God in normal, everyday tasks. The same
neighbors, the same place of work, same basic situation cannot shut God out. We
simply don't have the power to stop the active Spirit when and where He chooses
to work!

Thanks, Glenn.

Quote by my friend Glenn:

http://www.glennkaiser.com/blog.htm

The Jesus Tomb

Here's the best article I've read on this: http://paskewich.typepad.com/paskewichcom/2007/02/yawn_finding_th.html

You can also download it to a trifold handout to share with your friends, family and coworkers by clicking here:

http://paskewich.typepad.com/paskewichcom/files/because_you_asked_the_tomb_of_jesus.pdf

(Oh, by the way. The brilliant author is my big brother, Joe.)

Left Vs. Right

"The Left mocks the Right. The Right knows it's right. Two ugly traits. How far should we go to try to understand each other's point of view? Maybe the distance grace covered on the Cross is a clue." --Bono, lead singer of U2

How Emergent are You?

I like the emerging church. My church is part of the "emerging conversation". Well, I guess we are. I mean, I've never heard anyone actually say it. But you know, "if it looks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck ..."

(Quack)

I love conversation. I love that the Church is having conversation, not just with "church people" but with the world.

I do like the word "emerging". I like it a lot, in fact. I especially like the definition when we do apply it to Church with a big 'C', the Body, those of us who follow Jesus Christ.

Emerging: to come forth into view or
notice, as from concealment or obscurity. To become evident.

Yeah, baby. The Church should be evident in the world. We should constantly be emergent. I can dig this.

Anyhow ... the following blog is not my own. I wish I had written it, but I didn't. It's pretty short and sweet in outlining the conversation. Original citations, credits and links are included.

Enjoy the conversation.

How Emergent Are You? McLaren's Seven Layers of the Emergent Conversation

Islam has its five pillars. Buddhism has its eight-fold path. Evangelicalism has its four spiritual laws. And now the Emerging Church has its seven layers of conversation.

Last month I was part of a small gathering of church leaders that hosted an evening with Brian McLaren. And the conversation turned as hot as the chutney. A number of participants were eager to discuss the criticisms that have been levied against the emerging church in recent months. The hijacking of the emergent movement by those merely interested in new worship trends rather than more substantive issues aggravated others. Everyone was looking to McLaren to chime in.

Always more likely to defuse than to detonate, McLaren entered the spicy conversation casually while slouched into the sofa with beverage in hand. He cautioned us against judging where others were in the “emergent conversation.” Leaning forward, he outlined what he saw as the seven layers of the emergent conversation. "We all enter at a different layer," he said, "but everyone should be welcomed into the conversation no matter where they may be." [italics mine]

Based on McLaren’s description, I’ve outlined the seven layers below.
I’ve added my own titles and used the imaginary “Seeker Community Church” to illustrate each point.

Layer 1: Style

Seeker Community Church realizes they’re ineffective at reaching the coveted 18-32 year old demographic. They send a few staff members to a conference and they come back with goatees and candles.

Layer 2: Evangelism

After trying every facial hair permutation, Seeker Community Church discovers that to actually communicate the gospel to a younger generation they’ve got to learn to speak their language. They hire a former youth pastor to start an evening worship service with an “x” in its name.

Layer 3: Culture

It gradually dawns upon Seeker Community Church that the new challenges they are encountering are not limited to the younger generation. The entire culture is shifting away from the modern presuppositions their church was built upon. Some of the language and practices of the “x” service trickle into the rest of the church.

Layer 4: Mission

The emergence of Postmodernism causes Seeker Community Church to reevaluate the effectiveness of their mission strategy. Altar calls and gospel tracks are left behind in favor of community groups and relationships. Conversion is accepted as a journey and not merely a point of decision.

Layer 5: Church

Seeker Community Church begins to wonder if a multi million-dollar building housing a theatrical production every weekend is the only way to do church. Drawing from new and ancient forms of church, they launch alternative communities—one meets in a bar on Sunday night, and the other is a liturgical gathering. The church also partners with an inner city monastic group to reach street kids.

Layer 6: Gospel

The leadership of Seeker Community Church is stunned when the senior pastor confesses, “I’m not sure I’ve really understood the gospel.” He begins to wonder why Jesus never said God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life? And why Paul never asked anyone to invite Jesus into your heart? He starts to realize that the Good News is much more than he’d ever imagined.

Layer 7: World

Maybe the mission of the church isn’t simply to become a bigger church? Maybe, like Jesus, the church is to engage the larger world to reveal that the kingdom of God has drawn near? To their amazement, Seeker Community Church discovers significant swaths of the Bible (such as the Pentateuch, prophets, gospels, and epistles) talk about justice, poverty, and compassion. The church begins to speak about social issues and participates in efforts to combat poverty, AIDS, and global injustice.

So, how emergent are you?

Posted by Skye Jethani on October 28, 2005

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/outofur/archives/2005/10/mclarens_seven_layers1.html

Management vs. Leadership

Quote of the Day:

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. -Peter Drucker

Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us

Lord, You know how often we fail to love one another. Forgive
us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord, You know how easy it is
bail out of marriage mentally and spiritually, how fickle our hearts are when it
comes to human relationships. Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins
against us. Lord, You see how easily offended we are, how tenderly we treat our
own feelings yet how cutting and cruel we can be with our tongues to this other
we say we love. Forgive us as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord,
You know how easily the heart is drawn away from one's spouse toward another
person, another task, another achievement. Forgive such hearts of adultery,
Lord, as we forgive our spouse who sins against us. Lord, You see how our lips
pay service to the idea that we submit one to another, yet our actions betray
us. We say one thing, yet try to control our mate by manipulating, brow-beating,
demeaning, ignoring, denying affection. Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive our
spouse who sins against us. Thank You, Lord, for Your forgiveness. Thank you for
the transforming power of the Gospel that makes all things -- including marriage
itself -- brand new. You are the Lord of love. Thank You, thank You, thank You
for this other you have given us. Fill our hearts with love and with a zeal to
love in action as well as emotion and word. And fill us with Your Holy Spirit so
that we never turn our backs on You, on Your love, or on the love our mate
brings to us. That love, we know, is of You and from You. We receive it with
humility, gratitude, and glad tears. AMEN.

My friends Jon and Carol Trott wrote this prayer a few years back when they were speaking (well, Jon was speaking, Carol was sharing!) at a conference. It's blessed me in so many ways and I wanted to make it easily accessible, so I'm posting it here. You can read their entire seminar here: http://www.highromance.com/articles/jtarticles/cbe2002.htm

Light of the World

Once in a while, I have what I call "God Moments". These seem to happen during particularly reflective times when, for whatever reason, God chooses to speak about something pretty significant to me at the moment. It's probably more accurate to say that it's the times when my heart is in a place where I can actually hear Him, because I truly believes He speaks far more than I listen. They may not appear to be groundshaking revelations and I guess they really aren't. They are usually just simple truths that He reminds me of in the midst of my circumstances, but in such a personal way that I can only shake my head in awe and wonder.

A couple of weeks ago, I was standing out on my porch looking at the sky. It was the middle of the day, but the sky was incredibly dark and it was apparent that a big storm was brewing.

"Wow, it's so dark out here", I thought. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" said the Lord. I looked at the sky some more. The clouds were moving in more thickly and it looked like it was late evening instead of late morning.

"Yeah, it's pretty dark", He continued. "And stormy. But there's still enough light to see, isn't there?"

I looked around. Sure, even though it was dark, I could still see quite clearly. I could see everything around me in perfect clarity. There were no obstacles to my vision.

"Yeah", I replied. "I can see just fine."

"Joyce", He said, "even though it's so dark, so cloudy, so stormy, there is always enough Light to see. I am always enough Light."

That was pretty much it, but I pondered for hours about that. I was going through my own personal storm at the time, and He knew it. He cared enough about my storms to remind me ...

He is the Light. And He is always enough.

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

What's my Motive?

Sometimes I wonder why I do things. Not bad things necessarily. I know why I do the bad things. I'm a jerk sometimes. That one's easy. I'm talking about the good things.

A dear friend of ours is desperately ill. Before he was hospitalized, he had sort of run away, hidden from everyone; left our church, although he didn't leave God. Jeff asked him why he was leaving. He said, "I do all of the right things for all of the wrong reasons".

It makes me wonder ... what is MY motive?

I don't like searching my heart. In fact, I dread it. I always end up finding a bunch of garbage that I thought I had shoved down deep enough so it would never be seen. Jealousy, envy, dissatisfaction, discontentment ... do I do things to feed my own ego, to make me feel better about myself, to make YOU think better of me? Is my motive to make myself feel better or to ease the struggle for someone else? Is my motive to lighten my burden or to help carry someone else's? Is my motive to benefit myself or to benefit others?

Whenever the Lord prompts my heart to take a good look at my motives, I end up in this crazy circle of questions with few good answers. If my motive IS selfish, does that mean I drop the "good" activity and leave others shorthanded to fend for themselves? Well, no, that would be just as selfish as doing the activity for my own satisfaction.

Wouldn't it?

See what I mean? *Sigh*

One of my favorite books is The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. In it, there's a chapter where Screwtape encourages his nephew, an apprentice demon named Wormwood, to make his patient (the Christian) proud of the fact that he has become humble. This chapter always makes me laugh out loud because well ... is it nervous laughter because I fall into this trap time and time again myself?

"I see only one thing to do at the moment. Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact? All virtues are less formidable once the man is aware he has them, but this is especially true with humility. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, "By jove! I'm being humble", and almost immediately pride -- pride at his own humility -- will appear. If he awakens to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt -- and so on, through as many stages as you please. But don't try this for too long, for fear you awaken his sense of humour and proportion, in which case he will merely laugh at you and go to bed."

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23